a derisive laugh almost escapes his throat, before he has the common sense to bite it back. love. love is what got him into this mess to begin with. allowing himself to be open and honest with allura had put him into a position of vulnerability, which apparently led to his demise . . . in addition to stepping down the wrong path to begin with.
he should have never returned to the empire. he should have remained isolated, working in the resistance, to usurp zarkon from the throne. he should have never created the colonies . . . or, if he had, he should have never tread down the path that he did. it looked so absurdly stupid and selfish, now, in reflection . . .
since when had love become necessary, to operate in this world? since he had met allura, and since allura was taken away. and while lotor wants to be snappish, and tell her to do away with her manipulative nonsense, he can't bring himself to do it, because he knows that she speaks the truth. she is too kind to do otherwise. ]
. . . I cannot say the same.
[ finally, and he slowly detaches his hand from hers. but he does add a quiet addendum, and the slightest ghost of an attempt of a smile: ]
Present company excluded, of course; I have the utmost faith in you, Allura. But extending that faith, and love, to anyone else . . .
[ he exhales slowly, and folds his arms over his chest, an anxious maneuver, but he has to at least try. ]
At the risk of sounding pathetic, love has not been present in my life for tens of thousands of years, and I hardly want to make room for it now when every other attempt at showing kindness has ruined lives.
no subject
a derisive laugh almost escapes his throat, before he has the common sense to bite it back. love. love is what got him into this mess to begin with. allowing himself to be open and honest with allura had put him into a position of vulnerability, which apparently led to his demise . . . in addition to stepping down the wrong path to begin with.
he should have never returned to the empire. he should have remained isolated, working in the resistance, to usurp zarkon from the throne. he should have never created the colonies . . . or, if he had, he should have never tread down the path that he did. it looked so absurdly stupid and selfish, now, in reflection . . .
since when had love become necessary, to operate in this world? since he had met allura, and since allura was taken away. and while lotor wants to be snappish, and tell her to do away with her manipulative nonsense, he can't bring himself to do it, because he knows that she speaks the truth. she is too kind to do otherwise. ]
. . . I cannot say the same.
[ finally, and he slowly detaches his hand from hers. but he does add a quiet addendum, and the slightest ghost of an attempt of a smile: ]
Present company excluded, of course; I have the utmost faith in you, Allura. But extending that faith, and love, to anyone else . . .
[ he exhales slowly, and folds his arms over his chest, an anxious maneuver, but he has to at least try. ]
At the risk of sounding pathetic, love has not been present in my life for tens of thousands of years, and I hardly want to make room for it now when every other attempt at showing kindness has ruined lives.